


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

by x_thelittleprince_x



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Light Angst, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Mark has a crush but its not revealed till the end, References to Anxious Feelings, Sad Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Sweet Mark Lee (NCT), The other members arent really in the story except a few parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24191857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_thelittleprince_x/pseuds/x_thelittleprince_x
Summary: Donghyuck can't see his own beauty but maybe someone else can.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 141





	Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with more angst, haha but as always, it ends happily!  
> Once again, if you yourself struggle with self-image, just remember that you're one of a kind and that maybe if you can't find that beauty in yourself just yet there's always someone else out there who finds you beautiful.

Donghyuck had been feeling insecure recently. Maybe it was because he was always trying to improve himself or maybe because he always felt the need to make sure that everything was perfect and as a result, he felt like he couldn't quite live up to the expectations he knew everyone around him had. He knew fans loved him, he knew his friends and his family loved him but it was all of this pressure that fueled him to want to be better. So he worked hard. Sometimes to the point of exhaustion but for Donghyuck this was the only thing that he could control and get results from. 

Even so, his thoughts weighed on him and turned bitter with each day. It started off slowly, just a few thoughts here and there until one day it was him trying to find clothing in the morning only to cry in frustration because his favorite shirt was a bit tighter on him or going online and seeing fan comments about his members and how handsome and cool they looked. His eyes seemingly focusing on only the worst comments about himself. He couldn’t help but feel jealous of his hyungs, but yet even that thought alone made him feel guilty because they hadn't done anything to him. It just hurts seeing how effortless it was for them. They were born with that natural charm about them, something the fans loved. And he felt like he couldn't compete with them. He often covered it up by joking around or pretending to be unbothered by the people around him but deep down he there was a pit deep in his stomach that made him feel anxious.

Everyone sticks out except for me, he thought to himself, glancing over their newest teaser pictures. He kept comparing his photo to the other members. Finding something wrong with almost anything involving his. Why did he pose that way? Why did his face look weird at that angle? Maybe he should diet more. All these thoughts came to his head as he stared down at the photos on his phone. 

Donghyuck sighed, checking the time. It was late into the early hours of the night. Remembering he had to get up early that morning for their photoshoot for the second round of teaser photos, he tried his best to lay down and rest his eyes but that didn't seem to help. His mind was racing in a constant loop with thoughts about how he could improve his physical self. He glanced over to the bed across from him where Johnny lay, peacefully and unaware of the younger's struggle. He could always ask Johnny if he could work out with him and maybe he could find a new diet. Clenching his eyes tightly, he curled in on himself on the bed. A few tears falling from his eyes silently. He knew even that wouldn’t make him feel better. Was it so much to ask for? Just to be beautiful like everyone else? If it wasn't his body, it was his face or his hair or the way he laughed. There was always something lacking, something wrong with him. Donghyuck spiraled into these thoughts the entire night and it wasn't until the sun almost came up that he was able to fall asleep. 

-

“You look terrible.” Doyoung mentioned as Donghyuck came out of his room to wait at the front door for the others.    
“Thanks,” Donghyuck replied sarcastically, throwing on his shoes and tying the laces. Once everyone gathered together sleepily and a bit begrudgingly, they headed down to the cars, dividing themselves up. Donghyuck got placed next to Mark, which normally he’d be happy about. He could annoy the other and find funny memes to show him but with how he’d been feeling recently, that was the worst person he could sit next to. Mark would know something was up and he already did if the concerned looks Donghyuck received almost every day was anything to go by. 

“Did you get enough sleep?” Mark asked quietly from beside him. They were thankfully positioned all the way in the back of the car so no one was paying them any mind. Wrapped up in their own conversations or trying to catch up on some sleep. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck said, waving him off and not elaborating. He could feel Mark’s stare, burning into the side of his face, making his heart accelerate in his chest. 

“What?” He asked, a bit hasty when Mark hadn’t stopped looking at him.    
“Nothing...just are you okay? You're quieter than usual.” Donghyuck laughed bitterly at his words.

“It's the morning. Of course, I'm quiet.” Mark sighed, reaching over to intertwine their hands together. Donghyuck glanced at their hands feeling the warmth radiate from Marks's palm to his. Mark was always so warm, whether it was his words or his actions or even his hands. It had a way of calming him. 

“It’s not just today, Hyuck. I’m worried about you.” The hand in his squeezed gently, almost reassuring. 

“I’m fine,” Donghyuck said, but he couldn’t look over and face him properly knowing that Mark would see right through his lie, instead choosing to stare out the window at the passing buildings. It hurt to not tell him the truth. Mark was his best friend but he didn’t want him to see just how much he was hurting. 

-

The photoshoot was a complete disaster for Donghyuck. Everyone else finished their photos up quickly, the charisma practically dripping from them. Their hair and makeup had come out perfectly. Even the photographer was blown away by their visuals, giving praise when each one was finished. 

“Hyuckie, you’re up.” Taeyong patted Donghyuck’s shoulder on his way past him. The heavy chain around his neck felt suffocating. The backdrop was plain, just a white wall meaning the photo would be purely just him and that thought was most daunting to him. 

“Okay, stand just about there..good!” The photographer motioned for him to stand against the wall. Glancing over the photographer's shoulder he could see Johnny, Jaehyun, and Mark standing a bit further away, watching to see how his shoot would go. Donghyuck’s palms became clammy and his throat restricted. Seeing their looks of confusion, he realized the photographer was talking to him. 

“Huh? I’m sorry.” 

“You ready? We’re gonna start.” Donghyuck nodded and got ready, breathing in deeply to calm his nerves. You’ll be fine, he thought. Just don't focus on anyone else. The entire shoot was bad. The photographer kept pointing out little mistakes he was making like “You need to relax, you look too stiff.” and “It doesn’t look natural.” He knew the photographer was simply doing his job but he could pinpoint the slight irritation when he had to be corrected. His shoot was taking twice as long as the others had because they couldn't get the right photos to use. Donghyuck’s eyes at one point gravitated towards the other members watching him, connecting his gaze with Mark who genuinely seemed concerned. He mouthed an ‘are you okay?’ to Donghyuck who bit his lip nervously but nodded. Seeing the disappointment in Marks's eyes at his response hurt even worse. 

“Okay, I think that's enough. We should be able to get something out of that.” The photographer speaking brought his attention back to him. Donghyuck couldn’t help but feel upset at himself. There had been no compliments for him at the end like everyone else had gotten. Walking off silently, no one said anything to him sensing he wanted to be alone for a bit. 

-

When the second round of teaser photos came out, Donghyuck had anxiously looked at them, holed up in his room alone, his heart dropping when he came to his photo. He hated it. Nothing about it looked right. 

“Hey, hyuck. Did you see the photos?” Donghyuck’s door opened as Mark came in. “I think they came out-hey what's wrong?” Mark immediately rushed forward to his side, seeing tears fall from Donghyuck’s eyes. It was like a dam broke within Donghyuck. He couldn't take it anymore. He struggled to breathe as the uncontrollable sobs came out. Two arms pulled him into a hug, calm voice murmuring soft words into his ear. “It’s okay. I’m here. Let it out.” Donghyuck had tried so hard to keep his feelings to himself but he just couldn't do it any longer. He  _ wanted  _ someone to console him and talk to him. Clutching tightly at Mark’s shoulders, he buried his head further into his neck, feeling the wetness of his tears smear against his face. It was several minutes later before the crying slowed, however, they didn't pull apart, the sounds of their breathing filling the quiet of the room. A hand stroked Donghyuck’s head in slow rhythmic movements and for the first time in a while, he felt like he could breathe again.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured, his voice muffled slightly. 

“Don’t ever be sorry for that. You can come to me whenever you need me. I’m always here to listen to you. Okay?” Mark's voice was gentle but firm. Donghyuck nodded, sniffling. “You want to talk about it? You don’t have to but it might help.” 

“It's stupid..” Donghyuck started to say before Mark pulled back to look him directly in the eyes. 

“Donghyuck, nothing is stupid when it comes to you.” Donghyuck could have cried again hearing pure honesty in his voice. He looked down at his lap, his hands falling to his sides. 

“I’ve just been feeling insecure about my looks recently. I mean I’m not cute like Jungwoo or Handsome like Taeyong...I can't compete with them.” A hand came underneath Donghyuck's chin, forcing him to have no choice but to gaze into Mark’s warm brown eyes. 

“Hyuck..” Mark trailed, taking a deep breath. “You don't need to compete with anyone...I was gonna tell you this in a completely different way but it breaks my heart hearing that you feel that way about yourself so I think I should tell you because maybe in some way it might help prove how much you mean to me through my perspective.” Donghyuck’s head tilted slightly in confusion, not sure what Mark was talking about or where he going with the conversation. Mark bit at his bottom lip and cleared his throat while taking Donghyuck’s hands in his. Was Mark nervous? He could feel the shakiness of Mark’s hands against his own. 

“I like you Hyuck. More than a friend and I don’t mean to burden or overwhelm you so you don't have to say anything..but I just need you to understand  _ why _ I like you. You are positively the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I love your eyes, how they light up when you're excited about something and your smile when you laugh. God, you look so beautiful when you're happy. I love how your skin seems to glow in the sun. I love how perfectly your hand fits in mine and gives me butterflies. But most importantly, I love how much you care for others and how selfless you are. How hard you work and how you love others unconditionally. You’re my best friend and I couldn't have asked for a better one. I love you so much. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because, to me, you're the most beautiful person inside and out.” Mark confessed, breathing out a heavily. The shock on Donghyuck’s face was evident. His mouth agape and eyes widened. This was something Donghyuck had never seen coming. He’d never even thought about Mark in any other way than being his best friend. He mulled over the words Mark had said, his heart and soul going into each word. Donghyuck had never heard someone say such heartfelt words about him. It really touched him that Mark thought of him like that and for a few moments, he felt like the most beautiful person in the world. 

“I can see I stunned you into silence.” Mark chuckled lightly, but the anxious edge hadn’t worn off. 

“Wow. I-I didn't know you felt that way about me.” Donghyuck’s voice just barely over a whisper, his eyes focusing on their hands that were holding one another. He really did love the way they looked together. His tanner one intertwined with Mark’s paler one. 

“I know it's a lot but I just wanted you to see that you are beautiful and you don’t need to be insecure. You don't have to return my feelings at all, I just wanted to tell you.” A smile spread across Donghyuck’s face. Mark was so cute. He’d never really paid attention to that before but he could see himself wanting to give him a chance. Give them a chance. 

“Okay. I’ll go out with you.” He decided. Mark’s eyes bugged out of his head almost comically making Donghyuck giggle.    
“Wait, seriously? Are you messing with me?” 

‘I can't say I thought about it before but I do know that you mean a lot to me and I actually wanna give this a shot.” Donghyuck shrugged. “But you gotta tell me I'm beautiful every day.” He joked. Mark grinned, rubbing his thumb across Donghyuck’s hand. They gazed softly at one another, smiling as if nothing else mattered. And maybe it didn’t. What mattered is that they had each other. 

“Every morning, afternoon, and night if I have to. Just to prove it to you. I promise.” 

Donghyuck could get used to this. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Love you all~


End file.
